


Shades of Green

by Midnightminx90



Series: Fjorester Week 2019 [4]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: F/M, First Kiss, Resurrection, Temporary Character Death, True Love's Kiss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-03
Updated: 2019-04-03
Packaged: 2019-12-18 09:55:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18247484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Midnightminx90/pseuds/Midnightminx90
Summary: Day 5: First Kiss





	Shades of Green

Jester’s enraged scream fills the battlefield.

 

She’s seen her friends go down before, but this is worse, this is Fjord, bleeding out too fast, and he is too far from her for her to reach him in time. The use of thaumaturgy is unintentional, and Jester sees her friends struggle not to cover their ears at the sound.  
  
Fjord cannot die. He “CAN NOT DIE!”  
  
Her lollipop strikes true, now covered in serrated edges that cut deep. But not deep enough. The ogre still stands, greataxe dripping with Fjord’s blood. It looks hopeless, but Jester will never give up. This time she’s here and she’ll not let what happened to Molly happen again.  
  
Rage and fury and love thrums in her veins, filling her with cold, crystal clear rage.  
  
It feels as though time slows for a moment, as she flings her magic at the ogre, again and again. Shivers run through her as her lollipop carves his torso open, as the intestines fall out. Jester sees the creature fall down but the rage and fury and despair still fills her and she strikes down upon its head over and over and over again.  
  
Jester tastes blood, sees red. Her righteous fury seeks an outlet and she’ll not stop until every creature in the vicinity is dead.  
  
Drops of blood freezes in the air, suspended for a moment, like a bastardisation, a mockery of the diamond that had shattered when she revived Caduceus. before they fall to the ground and shatter.  
  
She doesn’t hear her friends shouts.  
  
Then Nott is next to her, pulling at her skirt and Jester finally stops. In front of her is a bloody pulp that once was the ogre’s head. It looks nothing like that now, with the brain, broken bones and blood splattered all over the ground.  
  
All over her as well, Jester realizes as she looks down at herself.  
  
Her hands are shaking as she sees them, more red than sapphire blue. Jester feels ugly, feels vile, feels sick to her stomach at the sight but she keeps it down. Why… why did she do this? Her head feels sluggish, like when the effects of Haste wears off. She never does this! Kills to survive and save, sure, but this more more than just killing.  
  
This is savage.  
  
_Fjord!_  
  
Traveler, how could she forget? It’s always him, always Fjord and she saw him go down, bleeding too much, there is too much blood, “Traveler, help him!” She shouts the words as she runs, then slides down next to Fjord, her bloodied hands frantically searching for a pulse.  
  
Jester doesn’t know how much time has passed since she saw him go down, but it must have been more than one minute.  
  
There is no pulse.  
  
She doesn’t realise she’s crying until she sees the specks of water on Fjord’s body. His corpse. Jester looks up, expecting to see rain, but the sky is clear and blue, the sunlight bathing them in a warm glow.  
  
Not here. She can’t do it here.  
  
Jester wants to be somewhere safe first. She looks to Caleb, who smells of fire and soot and sees another fallen ogre at his feet, next to yet another two.  
  
“Caleb! The mansion!”  
  
He blinks at her, and Jester half expects to see the familiar emptiness in them that he still gets after using fire to kill. It’s not there, and he nods at her, looking around before walking towards the treeline. She sees Caleb begin to cast his spell,so she picks up Fjord and carries him over.  
  
Just as she arrives next to Caleb, the door appears.  
  
She doesn’t wait for him to open it or to say anything, just barges in and takes the stairs up to the second floor where their bedchambers are. Fjord’s is next to hers and close to the stairs, and Jester almost walks into her own room because she knows her own bed is more comfortable.  
  
It won’t do. Fjord needs familiarity. Even in death.  
  
Fjord’s room is simple, with worn wood walls and floors, imitating a ship cabin. He prefers to sleep in the hammock, says he’s more used to that than beds, but there is a bed in here, thankfully, and she lays him carefully down.  
  
She wants to bring him back, but she’s tapped from the fight. There is no magic left in her.  
  
Instead, she does what she can, which is to remove his armour and clean his wounds. It makes her feel like she’s preparing for a funeral, so instead she pretends she’s just helping him get cleaned up, because that’s what she does. Helps her friends.  
  
The Traveler knows she’s helped Beau clean up more than enough.  
  
Jester knows she needs rest, but she can’t bring herself to leave Fjord’s side, so she curls up, holding him in her arms as tears stream down her face.  
  
At some point she falls asleep from exhaustion.  
  
\---  
  
She wakes the next day and for a blissful moment it all seems like nothing more than a nightmare.  
  
Then she feels the cold,lifeless body under her hands, and it all comes back to her.  
  
Jester shouts for her friends and they all come running into the room. Voice rough from shouting and crying, she asks Caleb if he can transport them somewhere else, away from here, to a place where they’ll be safe.  
  
Home! She could go home! She’s heard that it helps to be in a space dedicated to one's deity when performing the ritual.  
  
It’s not dedicated to the Traveler, but it is where he first appeared to her. It will have to to.  
  
“I want to take him home, to Nicodranas.”  
“ _Ja_ , I do,” Caleb replies, voice almost as bad as hers, and doesn’t waste a moment leaving the mansion.  
  
Jester picks Fjord up again, his body stiff in her arms, then follows Caleb and her friends outside. The field is visibly through the trees and she turns away from the carnage caused.  
Seconds later, the doorway is gone and a weird sensation fills Jester as they’re transported away.  
  
She doesn’t realize she closed her eyes until Beau’s hand lands on her shoulder, a comforting weight.  
  
In front of her, she sees her mama’s chateau.  
  
It’s night, so there are barely any people around, but Jester doesn’t care about any of that as she storms inside, running up the stairs to her old room, ignoring the greetings from the people who knows her.  
  
Her bedroom is still as she left it all that time ago, and once again she lays Fjord gently down.  
  
This is not how Jester ever imagined it when she thought of having Fjord in her bed, and she lets out a chuckle that turns into a sob at the thought.  
She smoothes the hair away from his face.  
  
Jester hears the others gather at the door but none of them enter, not even Caduceus and Beau. Nor do they speak. It’s better this way; she wants peace as she works her magic to bring him back. _Traveler, please let him come back to me!_  
  
It may be a selfish thought but Jester doesn’t care.  
  
Behind her, the door closes and the silence settles over her. _Deep breaths, little Sapphire, you can do this. You’ve brought Caduceus back; you can bring Fjord back._  
  
The diamond is heavy in her hands, much more than is should be, and Jester supposes it must come from the meaning behind the movement.  
She doesn’t know how to do this, and her hands shake as she tries to lower it onto Fjord’s body.  
  
A pair of hands envelop her own.  
  
Jester looks at them, sees their familiar transparency and feels enveloped in her God’s steadying embrace as he helps guide her hands to where they need to go.  
Before she casts the spell, however, she reaches into one of her haversack and pulls out a small leather bag.  
  
She pulls it open, emptying the contents out into her free hand.  
  
It’s a Periapt of Wound Closure, but made with sapphires instead. Supposed to be a gift for Fjord, marking the anniversary for their first meeting. Instead it becomes a gift for what she fears is goodbye.  
  
Opening the clasp, she fastens it around Fjord’s neck.  
  
The blue and silver against her skin makes her think of her own skin against his, of how it felt when his fingers would untangle her horn ornaments. Silver and sapphire against shades of green.  
  
Her heart is his, and this is the clearest evidence she can give him of it.  
  
Using thaumaturgy, she gently opens her windows to let the scent of the sea and the cries of the gulls inside.  
  
Jester’s hands shake as they once again reach out for the diamond resting on top of Fjord’s unmoving chest. She tries as best she can to clear her mind, but it doesn’t work, so she tries to focus on all the happy memories she shares with Fjord.  
  
Inside her mind, she calls them forth like living paintings.  
  
The first time they met, what it was like to travel together, how they learnt to work together in battles. Watches together where they talked like they were the only people around, as though nothing had changed. In a way, it still hasn’t.  
  
It’s always been the two of them.  
Jester takes Fjord’s hands in her own. _You can do this. Deep breaths._  
  
“Hi Fjord. I don’t know if you can hear me. I miss you. Please come back to me. I need you, you know? I don’t...“ Her voice breaks. “I don’t wanna do this without you, Fjord, okay? I don’t know if you know this but I… I love you, Fjord. And I never told you and now it’s all too late and you’re gone and I don’t know what to do.”  
  
There is a dark presence as she reaches out for Fjord’s soul to guide it back.  
  
In Jester’s mind, there is no doubt as to who that is, so with the Traveler’s help, she pushes through it, fights it even though it’s intangible.  A voice as dark as the endless void screams at her to let Fjord go.  
  
“Give up foolish mortal. There is nothing you can do. I brought him back once and he failed me. His soul is belongs to me now. This is his punishment.”  
“He’s _mine_ ,” Jester screams back in Infernal, the cold fury rising through her once again. “You _will not_ have him!”  
  
Warm, green light envelops her and the shapeless entity. She feels strong, stronger than she’s ever felt in her life and as she continues to push forward to Fjord’s soul.  
  
“Fjord doesn’t need you! Not anymore. He’s strong and much better off without you! He’s not the first one you’ve lost, and you really should have gotten used to disappointment before really!”  
  
Jester sees the bond that holds them together and knows what to do.  
  
She reaches into a pouch and pulls out diamond dust, scattering it over Fjord’s body as she casts Greater Restoration. The dust reflects the light of the candles in the room, casting rainbows over them.  
  
Gathering her strength, she grabs the bond with both her hands and pulls, until it breaks in two.  
  
Back to herself, in her room, Jester leans down and places a kiss on Fjord’s closed, cold lips. Her eyes are closes so she won’t have to see his lifeless eyes.  
She doesn’t see the way his entire body begins to glow a dark green, the colour of the hood the Traveler wears, as the diamond vanishes.  
  
She leans back, and a hand grasps the back of her head and pulls her down.  
  
Her eyes fly open as Fjord kisses her back and Jester lets out a great big sob, tears flowing down her still wet cheeks. Another sound escapes her, a mixture of heartbreak and loss, hope and love.  
  
“I love you too, Jester,” Fjord whispers as they pull apart. “I should have told you sooner.”  
  
His voice is rough, but it’s his _real_ voice, not the accent he put on for so long. It’s the one no one but she knew about for so long, and even though the others know it now, it still feels like their thing, and it brings her back to the early days, when their trust was built so quickly and easily.  
  
Jester falls onto him, careful not to put all her weight on his body.  
  
Instead, she does what she did in the mansion; curl up into him, holding him in a protective way. She faults herself for his death, but doesn’t say so out loud. Those words do not belong here, in such a setting.  
  
But she is mad, and her relief that he is back and safe in her arms leaves Jester unable to keep the words in.  
  
“Why were you so stupid? Why did you move? Why did you have to draw its attention? You died, Fjord! Because of what?!”  
“Because it was going to hit you,” Fjord says, voice as honest as she’s ever heard it and it _hurts_. “I couldn’t let it kill you Jester. I had to save you.”  
  
His fingers strokes across her cheek, brushing away the fresh onslaught of tears.  
  
“I promised your mom I would keep you safe and I had to keep that promise. I couldn’t let someone take you away from her.”  
  
Jester knows him well enough by now to hear the unspoken words.  
  
_Your life means more than mine. It’s a fair trade, if it means you’re safe._  
  
Cure him for his stubbornness and low self esteem. She loves him in spite of it, and because of it, but it’s never been his choice to make. If she dies, she dies, and it’s not his fault if she does. _When_ she does. They’ll talk about this later, she promises herself.  
  
Tomorrow. Tomorrow they can talk and figure out what their confessions means and what will change between them.  
  
For now, they’ll rest. Together, as they’re meant to be.  
  
There is a gentle knock on the door, and Jester sees her mama poke her head through the opening. The worry on Marion’s face melts away as Jester smiles at her, her fingers entangled with Fjord’s, who is already asleep from the exhaustion and the damage dealt to his body. Jester doesn’t hear the door close again, her focus on Fjord and the gentle rise and fall of his chest beneath her head.  
  
“I’m proud of you child,” the familiar voice of the Traveler rings inside her head, as his hand strokes her hair. “You have done well.”

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, I took some artistic liberites re: Greater Restoration but it worked with (SPOILERS FOR CAMPAIGN ONE) severing Percy's soul from Orthax so... ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


End file.
